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SUSAN GREGG'S 
CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 




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BECKLEY-CARDY COMPANY Publbhers CHICAGO 



SUSAN GREGG'S 
CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 



A Christmas Comedy 
in Two Acts 



BY 

MARIE IRISH 




f'JS 



BECKLEY-CARDY COMPANY 
CHICAGO 






Copyright, uno. r.v 
BECKLEY-CARDY COMPANY 



TMP96-0G6587 

/ 

DEC 26 1916 

©CID 45898 



CHARACTERS 

Miss Susan Gregg A well-to'-do sphister 

]Mrs. Hinks A dressmaker 

^Iary Jarvis , . . . .A clerk 

Katie Miss (Jrecjg's nutid-of -all-work 

Hiram Bickett A cowboy from the West 

Hermann Krumm A German tailor 

Mr. Watkins ^1 fat and jolly bachelor 

Bobby A newsboy 

(As small a boy as can be secured to learn the part) 

Priscilla, Bunch, and Slim 

Children of the neighborhood 

(Bunch should be short and fat; Slim, tall and slim) 
Other Christmas Entertwiners if desired 



COSTUMES AND MAKE-UP 

Miss Gregg : Corkscrew curls ; spectacles. In first scene, 
plain dark house dress; in old-fashioned silk or cash- 
mere dress, with fancy collar, large cameo or other 
antique brooch, and some bright ribbon bows or 
trimming. 

Mrs. Hinks and Mary Jarvis : Quiet, neat afternoon 
dresses or suits and hats. Mary's hair dressed 
stylishly. 

Katie : Plain dark dress ; white collar and apron ; bow 
for hair. 

Hiram Bickett : Wide-brimmed hat ; flannel shirt ; 
bright-colored handkerchief knotted about neck; trou- 
sers tucked into high boots. 

Hermann Krumm : Long-tailed coat ; light or fancy 



vest; large bright-colored bow tie; long, light mous- 
tache. 

Mr. Watkins: Ordinary business suit; chin whiskers. 
Should be dressed to look fat. 

Bobby : Well-worn coat and knee breeches too small for 
him. 

Other children: Ordinary clothes, somewhat ' ' fixed up. ' ' 



STAGE SETTING AND ARRANGEMENT 

Set the back of the stage for a living-room, with a 
small table (on which are a fancy lamp, some books, and 
a plant or some flowers) ; a number of chairs, and a couch. 
The latter may be formed of some boxes put together 
and covered with a quilt and a fancy couch cover. For 
the last scene have the room trimmed with pine branches 
and wreaths of greens. 

About four feet back from the front of the stage have 
a curtain which may be drawn to liide the setting of the 
living-room, leaving this space bare so when the curtain 
is drawn across the stage the space in front of it can be 
used for the street scene. There should also be a curtain 
at the front of the stage to use between the acts and at 
the close of the play. 



SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 
ACT I 

CHRISTMAS PLANS 

Scene I : Miss Gregg ^s living-roam. 
Discovered, Miss Gregg reading newspaper. 

JMiss Gregg. Well, I declare! This certainly is an odd 
advertisement ! But it ought to touch some one 's heart 
at Christmas time. I do hope some kind person will 
answer it and help "Lonely" to have a good time! 
I wonder, now [pausing thoughtfully], if it would do 
for me to — why can't / — I wonder what Katie would 
say. — Some one ought to be kind to this lonely woman. 
[Reads aloud from newspaper] '^Wanted: A lonely 
person who is tired of sewing would like to spend 
Christmas T>Ry with some one else who is lonely, that 
the da}^ may be more cheerful for both. Answer 
through The Times." That poor woman, all alone 
and tired out with her dressmaking, surely ought to 
be given a m.erry Christmas ! I have a comfortable 
home and I certainly can afford to entertain once in a 
while, and I 'm alone, too. Why can't I have her come 
here for Christmas? I don't want to spend the day 
alone, either. — I'll see what Katie says. [Rings call 
hell] 

Enter Katie. 

Katie. Dear me, ma'am, ye rang that bell so excited- 
like, ye 'most made be drop the eggs I wuz beatin' fer 
the Christmas cake ! Is anything the matter ? 

5 



G SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

Miss Gregg. No — yes — that is — what do you think of 
our having some Christmas compan}^ to-morrow? 

Katie. Wy, that would be real nice, ma'am! I wuz 
thinkin' only yesterdy it 'd be pleasant ter have some 
Christmas comp 'ny , bein ' as ye \e plenty o ' room an ' 
lots ter eat. 

Miss Gregg. I thought I 'd like to invite this woman to 
spend the day with me. [Hands paper to Katie, who 
reads notice aloud.] 

Katie. Sure, it 'd be fine ter ask 'er! I s'pose she 's 
livin' in a hall bedroom in a boardin '-house, with no 
one ter say, "Merry Christmas," to 'er all day. I '11 
bake up lots o' good things ter eat if ye want 'er ter 
come, ma'am. 

Miss Gregg. Thank you, Katie ! I '11 send the reply to 
this notice to-day. 

Katie. An I '11 git at the work. [Cheerily] There '11 
be plenty ter do, with comp'ny comin'. [Exit.] 

Miss Gregg. I '11 write the reply now, so I can take it 
to the newspaper office when I go shopping this morn- 
ing. [Gets out paper and pencil.] I hope she 's nice! 
But we ought to be kind to every one on Christmas 
Day and it won 't hurt me to give her a good time, even 
if she 's ugly and cranky. [Sits at table and writes, 
then reads aloud] "The person who is lonely is in- 
vited to spend Christmas with another who is lonely 
and enjoy a merry day. Seventy-two Walnut Street. ' ' 
There! IMaybe I 'm foolish, and she may not come, 
after all, but we '11 get ready for her. Why, I 'm 
really excited about it ! I did n 't know it would seem 
so pleasant to be planning to have company. I '11 go 
and help Katie. [Exit.] 

CURTAIN" 



SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 7 

Scene 2. A street. 
Enter Bobby, with armful of newspapers. 

RoBBY. Gee, I hoped I could sell a lot o' papers ter-day ! 
A feller wants a little cash at Christinas time, dough it 
don' matter so mucli 'bout me, 'cuz I 'm all alone. 
Ef I jes hed a fam'ly like Ilunipy 's got, so 's dere 'd 
be somebody ter buy sump'n fer, I 'd like it. It 's 
awful tough bein' all alone at Christmas! Wisht I 
had some folks, I do! [Looks around.] S'pose I may 
's well read a little, till business gits lively. [Stand- 
ing L, looks through paper, reading here and there.] 
Oh, gee, listen ter dis ! [Reads aloud haltingly] ^'De 
person who is lonely is invited ter spend Christmas 
wid anodder who is lonely and enjoy a merry day. 
Seventy-two Walnut Street." Say, I bet a cent an' 
a quarter dat 's de kind old feller I heard 'bout who 
gits up a swell dinner fer a lot o' folks on Christmas. 
I 'm goin' dere an' hev a good time, sure 's my name's 
Bob ! I kin buy a noo necktie an ' de old feller won 't 
mind ef my clothes is sort o' seedy. [Brushes coat with 
hafids.] . I ain't never went to a Christmas party, but 
I bet I '11 hev a swell time, all right ! 

Enter ]Mrs. Hinks, B. 

]\Irs. Hinks. Oh, there is my little newsboy. He seems 
rather forlorn — I wonder whether he has some one to 
spend Christmas with or, like me, is all alone. [Bobby 
turns and sees her, then hurries toward her.] 

Bobby. Paper, lady? All 'bout de fire on Grand Ave- 
noo ! Paper ? 

Mrs. Hinks [smiling]. Yes, I think I must have one. 
[Takes paper and pays for it.] 

P>obby. Tanks, lady. [Exit.] 

Mrs. Hinks [looking about]. T wonder where the boy is 



8 SUSAN (mEGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

who blacks my shoes. He usually is here at this time. 
I '11 wait for him. [Opens paper and glances through 
it.] Doesn't seem to be any news to-day. There 's 
not much to read but Christmas advertisements. Oh, 
dear, I wish I had some one to spend Christmas with ! 
I 'm so tired of sewing, week in and week out, and 
never a soul to visit with ! It 's hard to be all alone 
in the world. [Reads paper.] Well, of all things! 
This must be meant for me. [Reads Miss Gregg's 
notice aloud.] Seventy-two Walnut Street — that is 
near where I board and I 've often noticed the lady 
who lives there. How lovely! I certainly will spend 
Christmas with her, the dear, kind soul ! — Well, the 
bootblack doesn't seem to be coming, so I'll go 
[Exit, dropping paper.] 

Enter Hiram Bickett, who strolls up and down, hands 
in pockets. 

Hiram [gloomily]. AA^al, I '11 be ding-busted ef the city 
ain't the lonesomest place I 've ever set foot in! I 
been here fer three days an' they ain't nobody said 
how-de-do to me yit! Out in the desert, in the West, 
folks is sociable, ef they ain't very many uv 'em. ]Might 
think I w^iz a hoss-thief er a coyote, the way nobody 
gives me a pleasant word ! Hang me ef I would n ' 
take the fust train back west ef it wuz n 't fer that 
business deal I gotter wait on. An', hang-ding it all, 
ter-morrer 's Christmas an ' nobody ter gimme the glad 
hand er wish me merry ! Merry Christmas ! I '11 eat 
my stirrups ef anybody in this big town cares whether 
I 'm merry er not! I 'm tired o' goin' ter shows. 
S'pose I may 's well hike ter my room an' set there, 
s.eein' they 's no one ter talk with. Wisht Long John 
er Carrot Pete wuz here! I gotter notion ter 
lasso somebody er snap off my six-shooter a few times 



SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 9 

jes ter 'tract attention. [Picks up newspaper.] 
^Iebl)e I kiji find soniethin' here ter read. [Looks 
through paper.] I don' care much 'bout city news; 
they ain't no excitement to it. — Wal, hamstrings my 
hide ef this ain't a corker! [Reads aloud Miss Gregg's 
■ notice.] Say, I bet that wuz writ jes fer me! An I 
know who done it, too, by ginger! When I wuz tryin' 
ter chaw my dinner yesterdy, in that there restyrant, 
I tol' the waiter I wuz so lonesome I could n' eat an' 
they wuz 'n old man settin' near whut heard me. He 
wuz 'n old feller with white whiskers an' a real kind 
face an ' I bet he 's thought it over an ' felt so sorry fer 
me he 's invited me ter his shack fer Christmas. Now 
ain 't that nice ! Whut ef I had n ' looked at this here 
paper? Be I a-goin'? Wal, I jes guess yes! I 'm 
goin' ter hit the trail right now an' buy 'im a box o' 
candy fer a Christmas present. Whoopee ! [Exit in 
haste, almost colliding with Mary Jarvis.] 

Enter Mary. 

Mary [turning to look hack at Hiram]. Dear me, what 
a hurry that man was in, and how happy he looked! 
I think he must be going to have a merry Christmas. 
Well, this morning I might have envied him, but to- 
night I 'm happy, too. Clerking isn't very amusing 
work for a girl who is a stranger in the city and who 
is homesick for the folks back on the farm, and I 
did n 't know how I was going to stand Christmas here 
alone ; but I just happened to see an invitation in 
the paper and I 'm going to accept it. [Pulls news- 
paper from handbag and reads Miss Gregg's notice 
aloud.] Now, if that isn't meant for me, I want to 
know it ! One of the girls in the store said she heard 
there were a nice old man and his wife whose children 
were all married and they were all alone and they 



10 SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

did this because they were so lonely at Christmas time. 
I know they 're just lovely old folks and I '11 have 
a beautiful time with them. My Christmas will be 
merry, after all. [Exit.] 

CURTAIN 



ACT II 

THE CHRISTMAS PARTY 

Scene : Miss Gregg 's living-room. 

Discovered, Miss Gregg seated in rocker and Katie 

standing near her. 

Miss Gregg. I do hope our company comes early ! I *m 
so anxious to see what she looks like that I can hardly 
wait, but I know she is nice. Is everything all right, 
Katie ? 

Katie. Lan ' suz, ma 'am ! the house is clean ez a whistle 
an' I 've got stuff enough baked up ter feed a dozen 
folks; an' it 's good, too, ef I do say it myself! I 
don' know whut more the woman could expect uv us. 

Miss Gregg. I hope she is a real good talker. I like to 
have people talk. 

Katie. I hope she 's a good eater ! I like ter see folks eat 
like they wuz hungry when I 've got lots cooked up. 
[Knock is heard.] 

Miss Gregg. Oh, Katie, I believe she has come ! You go 
to the door. [Exit Katie.] 

Reenter Katie, followed by Hermann Krumm. 

Katie. Here 's a gentleman ter see ye, ma'am. 

]\liss Gregg [looking at him in surprise as she rises]. 
How-do-you-do ! 

Krumm [smiling broadly as he comes forward and takes 
her hand] . Ach, goot tay, goot tay, merry Christmas, 
goot laty ! I pin so happy to meed you, ya ; unt mine 
heart iss so glat dat I haf de bleasures to spent Christ- 
mas mit you. [Shakes her hand vigorously.] Mine 

11 



r2 .SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

gracious, 1 pin so lonesome — all der time sew, sew mit 
der neetles ! Bud now ve shall liaf von merry Christ- 
mas, ain'dt it? Ya, it iss so goot off you to answer 
mine leedle notice in der baper unt say ve shall haf 
Christmas togedder. 

Miss Gregg [looking much confused]. Ye-es, I — that is. 
ye-es — won't you sit down? [Aside] Oh, heavens! A 
man ! How can I ever stand a man here for Christmas 
dinner? I — I shall faint! [She and Krumm sit 
down.] 

Krumm. Ya, I pin von dailor unt I ged me so tiredt off 
der neetles unt alvays sewing. Bud now ve shust haf 
von merry Christmas, like ve pin alvays der goot 
friendts, ain'dt it? 

Katie [who has stood staring from one to other] . We 're 
dreadful glad ye come, mister. [Aside] Lan' suz! 
poor Miss Gregg is so shocked, she don' know whut ter 
do! She 's scairt o' men an' I don' know how she 's 
goin' ter git through this day. Lucky thing I 'm 
here. I like men, an' he seems real nice. 

Miss Gregg [nervously]. Katie, you — you might bring 
in some apples or — something. [Aside] Oh, heaven 
help me ! What shall I do with him ! What can I say 
to him! [Knock is heard.] Oh! Katie, will you go 
to the door? [Exit Katie.] It 's — it 's a pleasant day, 
sir! 

Reenter Katie, followed by Mrs. Hinks. 

Katie. A lady ter see ye, ma'am. [Krumm rises.] 
iSfiss Gregg [ivith relief as she rises]. Oh, how-do-you- 
'^do! I 'm so glad to see you! [Aside.] I don't know 

what she wants, but I 'm glad she 's here, so I shan't 

be alone with this man. 
jMrs. Hinks [shaking hands with Miss Gregg]. I can't 

tell you how glad I am to spend Christmas with you ! 



SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 13 

It was so lovely of you to put that notice in the paper ! 
I was so lonely! I felt I couldn't spend Christmas 
alone. 

Krumm [pleasantly] . Ach, so ! Den I pin nod der only 
von as iss lonesome at Christmas. Ve shall haf a 
leedle pardy, ain'dt it? 

Mrs. Hinks [looking at him haughtily]. Sir, I do not 
kno.w that I care to spend Christmas with you! My 
father was an Englishman and my mother was 
French, and I do not feel very kindly toward the 
Germans at present. 

Krumm. Nein, nein, do nod so say ! Me, I like efrypodys 
unt on der merry Christmas Tay ve should all pin 
friendts. Come, led der bast pin pygones unt ve vill 
haf von goot dime, alreaty yet. 

Miss Gregg [to Mrs. Hinks]. Oh, yes, please forget he 
is German ! I want you to have a merry Christmas 
with me. [Aside] The poor man seems very nice 
and I can't bear to have him disappointed. 

Katie. Sure, now, Christmas is a day o' peace an' good 
will an' every heart should be filled with kindness, so 
let 's not have any hard feelin's. [Aside] That man 
looks ez if he 'd be a splendid eater an' he shan't go 
home till after dinner. An' he 's real nice, I 'm sure. 

Mrs. Hinks [heartily] . Very well, sir, we will be friends ! 
[Holds out her hand.] I will even help you sing "The 
Watch on the Rhine." 

Krumm [taking her hand]. Nein, nein, I vill helb you 
sing der IMarseillaise ! [They shake hands heartily, 
while repeating] 

r Ye sons off France, avake to glory ! all 

Ivrumm. hearts resolvedt on liperty or deaf! 

< Dear Fatherland, no fear be thine, firm 

Mrs. Hinks. stands the guard along the German 
Rhine. 



14 SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

Katie: Now, we '11 sure have a splendid time ter-day, 

since peace is declared! [Miss Gregg, Mrs. Hinks, 

afid Krumm sit.] 
]\Irs. Hinks. Well, I certainly don't want to miss my 

merry Christmas. [Aside] He seems real nice, after 

all. [A knock is heard.] 
Katie. Lan' suz ! Is there some one else comin' ? [Exit.] 
Mrs. Hinks. I did n 't know there was to be any one else 

here, but it is very pleasant to have a party. 

Reenter Katie, followed hy Mary Jarvis. 

Katie. A young lady ter see ye, ma'am. [Miss Gregg 
rises, looking surprised.] 

Mary [shaking hands with Miss Gregg]. Oh, I just 
can't tell you how happy I was to find your notice 
in the paper and know I didn't have to spend my 
Christmas alone! [Looks at others.] I wish you all a 
merry Christmas ! 

Krumm [rising and lowing low]. A merry Christmas, 
young laty, a merry Christmas ! [Aside] Ach, shtill 
some more come, unt all lonely! Bud me — how shall 
I shtant it mit so many laties? [Miss Gregg, Mary, 
and Krumm sit.] 

Mrs Hinks [to Mary]. Merry Christmas! [Aside] 
She must have thought that notice was meant for her. 
How strange! [Knock is heard.] 

Miss Gregg. Oh, Katie, perhaps some one else has come ! 
[Aside] I hope we '11 have enough to eat! [Exit 
Katie.] I am so glad you are all here! 

Reenter Katie, followed hy Hiram Bickett, carry- 
ing a large hox. 

Hiram [heartily]. Merry Christmas, everybody, Merry 
Christmas! [Looks in surprise at Krumm, who has 



SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 15 

risen.] Wal, sir, ye ain't the man I expected ter see, 
but I 'm glad ter be here, jes the same. [Shakes hands 
iviih him and hands box to him.] I brought ye a 
Christmas greetin', friend. I tell ye, ye jes saved my 
life by askin ' me here f er Christmas ! I 'd a-bin plumb 
dead o' lonesomeness by night ef ye hadn't, ding-bust 
my boots ef I wouldn't! [Turns to Miss Gregg, ivho 
rises, while Krumm puts hox of candy on table.] I 
s'pose this is yer wife. Glad ter meet ye, ma'am. 
[Shakes hands.] 

^Iiss Gregg. Oh, no, no 1 I 'm not his wife ! Oh, really 
no! [Aside] "What a ferW6^e mistake ! [Sits down, 
looking very anxious.] 

Hiram [cordially]. No matter, ma'am! Jes my mis- 
take! [To Mrs. Hinks] I s'pose, then, you 're his 
wife. Glad ter know ye — I am, by ginger! [Shakes 
hands.] Tickled ter death ter spen' Christmas here 
an' have a chance ter talk with somebody. [Mrs. 
Hinks, who has half -risen, sinks hack in chair.] 

Krumm. Nein, nein ! She iss not mine vife ! I haf no 
such habbiness. [Sits down beside Mrs. Hinks and 
talks in aside to her.] 

Hiram [aside, looking at jMary]. Gee, this is some swell 
young lady! I hope she ain't the old codger's wife! 
[Shakes hands ivith Mary.] Merry Christmas, Miss! 
Glad ter meet ye. Pleasure 's all mine — 't is, by heck ! 
[Sits beside her.] 

Katie [aside]. My, ain't he grand! I bet he kin eat 
lots. 

Miss Gregg [aside]. Dear me! I wonder how many 
more will come ! 

]\Iary [smiling at Hiram]. I 'm sure we 're going to 
have a lovely Christmas party. 

Hiram [to ^Iary, anxiously, while others talk among 
themselves]. Say, you ain't his wife, be ye? 



16 SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

Mary. Certainly not! I 'm waiting for the 7'ight man 

to come along. 
Hiram. Say, how 'd ye like one f er a Christmas present ? 
Mary. Oh, so often our Christmas presents don't suit 

us, you know, and I 'm real particular about getting a 

man to suit me. 
Hiram [aside, gloomily]. Jes my luck, by heck! The 

women never do seem much struck on me. 
Krumm. Vot a bleasures to pin here mit so many 

friendts on Christmas ! Pooty soon ve blay some games, 

ain'dt it, like der Buss-in-a-Corner. 
Hiram, Say, when I wuz a boy we used ter play some 

dandy kissin' games! [Knock is heard.] 
Katie [aside]. I hope this is another one — the more the 

merrier ez long ez the food lasts! [Exit.] 
Hiram [in loud aside to Mary]. I don' care who else 

comes, long 's you 're here. 
Miss Gregg [aside] . Oh, I do hope it is n't another man ! 

Reenter Katie, followed hij INIr. Watkins. 

Mr. Watkins [genially]. How-do-you-do, Susan! 
[Shakes hands with Miss Gregg, who has risen.] Merry 
Christmas ! I just thought I 'd run over to wish you 
a merry Christmas; but I didn't know you were hav- 
ing a party. [Looks around. ] Why did n 't you invite 
me ? That 's a nice way to treat an old friend ! Well, 
are n 't you going to introduce me to your guests ? [ To 
others] Merry Christmas to you all ! 

The Others. Merry Christmas! 

Miss Gregg. I — that is, I — have n 't learned their names 
yet. This is a sort of — well, a sort of surprise party — 
though every one is very Avelcome. 

Mr. Watkins. A surprise party? 

Krumm, It vas pecause I pin so lonesome alreaty yet, 



SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 17 

sewing init my neetles py der dailor shop. Dis goot 
laty dells me as I pin lonesome I shall come haf Christ- 
mas mit her. 

Mrs. Hinks [in surprise]. Why, I was the lonely one 
who was asked to come ! 

Mary. But, really, I thought it was I who was invited ! 

Hiram. Wal, hang me f er a horse-thief ef I did n ' think 
I wuz the feller that wuz meant ! 

Miss Gregg. I think it is very nice to have so maii}^ 
here and I hope we shall have a merry time. [Sits as 
she motions to Mr. Watkins to he seated.] 

Katie. An' we '11 have somethin' good ter eat, ef I do 
say it ez did the cookin'. [Knock is heard.] Lan' suz ! 
I bet somebody else has come. [Exit.] 

Hiram [aside to Mary] . I 'm havin ' the time o ' my life ! 

Reenter Katie, followed hy Bobby. 

Katie. He 's come ter the Christmas party. [Giggles, 
then hurries off.] 

Bobby [bashfully]. Merry Christmas! I read in de 
paper how de one whut wuz lonely should come here 
an' I s 'posed de man whut wuz doin' it would n' 
keer ef I come. 

Mr. Watkins [heartily, rising]. That 's all riglit, sonny! 
We 're glad you 've come. I 'm just waiting for a 
chance to help somebody have a merry Christmas and 
you 're about the right size. [Gives Bobby a seat.] 
What 's your name, my boy ? 

Bobby [to Mr. Watkins]. My name 's Bob, sir. Say, 
mister, d' ye s'pose Santy Claus '11 be roun' here ter- 
day? 

Mr. Watkins. W^ell, if the old fellow himself can't give 
us a call, some of his helpers, will. You know Santa 
Claus is pretty busy, but he has lots of workers. But 



18 SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

I know Katie needs you to help her get dinner ready. 

Run out to the kitchen and see if she does n't. 
Bobby. Sure ting! [Aside] Mebbe she '11 gimme a 

hand-out on de side. [Exit.] 
Mr. Watkins. Now, friends, let 's make this a really 

merry Christmas ! What shall we do ? 
Krumm. Efrypodies should t haf a bresent. 
Hiram. Sure thing! They 's somebody I wanter give a 

present to. [Looks (it IMary.] 
Mrs. Hinks. Oh, we ought to have a Christmas tree 1 
Mary. No, I think it would be nicer to have a big Christ- 
mas stocking and all put presents in it. 
Mr. Watkins. That 's a capital idea! 
Krumm. Unt mit neetles I vill make such a shtocking 

alreaty yet so soon, if I can findt me some clot'. 
Miss Gregg. Oh, I have some bright cloth that will be 

just the thing. Come with me and you can make the 

stocking at once. [Exeunt Krumm and Miss Gregg.] 
Hiram [to Mary]. I don' s'pose ye 'd like the West, 

would ye? 
Mary. Oh, no, I 'm sure not ! 
Hiram [aside]. Blame the luck! I wuz hopin' she 'd 

say ''yes"! But nobody never does take a fancy ter 

me, nohow. 
Mary. You see, I 'm so dreadfully afraid of Indians. 
Hiram. Injuns! Wy, they ain't none o' them 'roun' 

where I live ! I 'm the nearest to a savage they is there. 
Mary. Oh, I think you 're real nice ! I do, indeed ! 
Hiram. Do ye, truly? [Aside] Now, ain't she the 

sweetest gal ! 

Enter Miss Gregg with Priscilla, Bunch, and Slim 
{and others for entertainment if desired). 

Miss Gregg. Some of my neighbors have come to wish 



SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 19 

us a merry Christmas and give us a little entertain- 
ment. [Company rises.] 

Everybody [heartily.] Merry Christmas! Merry Christ- 
mas! 

Priscilla. I kin sing a song. 

Mr. Watkins. Good ! I want to hear it ! 

Priscilla. But I don' sing it 'less folks gimme some 
candy or sump 'n. 

Hiram. Wal, ye spoke jes in time! There 's a big box 
uv it on the table ! So sing away. 

Mrs. Hinks [to Priscilla]. What is your name, child? 

Priscilla. My name 's Priscilla, but folks call me 
"Cilly" fer short. 

Bunch. An' she's silly, too, you bet! 

Priscilla. I 'm not. Bunch, you horrid boy! [Makes 
a face at him.] 

Mary. Oh, please sing the song ! 

Priscilla. Oh, I 'm 'fraid ter! [Backs off and sits 
down.] 

Hiram. Wal, ef ye don' want the candy, all right. 

Priscilla [coming forward quickly]. But I do want it! 

Mr. Watkins. Then sing us a song. 

Priscilla [one finger in mouth and twisting skirt with 
other hand]. Oh, I — don' — wanter! 

Slim. Oh, ye 'fraid cat, you! 

Priscilla. I ain't a 'fraid cat, you, Slim, an' I '11 fight 
ye when we git outdoors, I will! [Shakes fist at 
Slim, who hides behind Mr. Watkins.] I 'm goin' 
ter sing now, if ye '11 all promise not ter listen. 

Mr. Watkins. Oh, pshaw, who wants to listen? 

Priscilla. All right. [Sings to tune of ^'Old Oaken 
Bucket''] 

I want to see Santa and ask him the reason 
For some of the sorrow that he has caused me; 
I want to know why 't is, at this merry season. 



20 SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

My once happy heart now so troubled should be. 
Why did n't he bring me a big brown-eyed dolly, 
Instead of that stupid old book that I hate? 
I wanted a bracelet just like he brought Mollie, 
And also some roller skates, so I could skate. 
I want him to tell me why such luck befell me; 
I want him to tell rae why he slighted me! 

I want to see Santa and tell him I 'm huffy ; 

I don't like the mittens he brought me, one bit. 

I wanted some furs, all so white, soft and fluffy, 

I wanted blue ribbons; brown gives me a fit! 

I wanted some chocolates so melting and creamy, 

Instead of that horrid old peppermint stick; 

I wanted a rfng and a music-box dreamy, 

My great disappointment has 'most made me sick. 

I want to see Santa, I want him to tell me 

Why, when I 'm so very good, he 's slighted me ! 

[Makes loiv how and sits. Others clap vigorously.] 

Miss Gregg. Don't feel badly, Priseilla. All of us 
sometimes get things we don't want and often don't 
get the ones we do want ; but it is the Christmas spirit 
that makes Christmas — not what we get. 

Mary. Christmas is perfectly lovely ! 

Bunch. Well, ain't nobody goin' ter ask Slim and me 
ter sing our song? 

Mrs. Hinks. Oh, please do sing it! 

Hiram. Come, be sports ! 

Slim. Well, come on, Bunch, let 's hurry an' git it over 
with. [They stand side hy side and sing.] 

Bunch and Slim [to tune of "Maryland! My Mary- 
land!"] 

We bring a greeting bright and gay — 
[Slim, pointing] 

He is Bunch and I am Slim — 

[Together] 

Upon this Merry Christmas Day — 



SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 21 
I Bunch, pointing] 

I am Bunch and he is Mini. 

[Together] .^^ ^ , 

We hopo you all will happy be, 
Enjoying 'chiistmas revelry; 
May you from sorrow all be free 
Is the wish of Bunch and Slim. 

Each of us is a good young lad— 

[Slim, pointing] , er 

He is Bunch and I am blim— 

[Together] ^ ^ , 

We always mind our ma and dad— 

[Bunch, pointing] ^ 

I am Bunch and he is Slim. 
[Together]^^^^ ^vhen the Christmas Day draws nigh 
To be angelic then we try, 
So Santa will not pass us by— 
Oh, very good are Bunch and felim! 

We bring the water and the wood— 

[Slim, pointing] 

He' is Bunch and I am Slim— 
^^^ ^ We mind our teacher and are good— 

[Bunch, pointing] 

I am Bunch and he is Slim. 

^ ^^^ ^ We do no naughty deeds, for fear 

Of them old Santa Claus may hear; 
Then in our socks no gifts this year 
He will leave for Bunch and Slim. 

[Boiv hashfully and sit down.] 
AiA. [clapping]. Hurrah for Bunch and Slim! 

Enter Hermann Krumm. 
Krumm. Ach, he iss done so kviek alreaty yet, unt so 
fine as you can't giiess. [^tts.\ 



22 SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

Filter Bobby. 

Bobby. I don' keer ef we don' hev dinner till supper- 
time. I 've et sump 'n awful good ! 

Miss Gregg. Now, let us all stand up and sing a song to- 
gether, in honor of Christmas. 

[They stand in two rows, the smaller ones in front, and 
sing some appropriate Christmas sang, or one of the 
old, familiar hymns. Krumm sings lustily, hohhing 
head and marking time with hands.] 

Hiram. Wal, ding-bust it ef this ain't more fun than a 

round-up ! 
Bobby [to Miss Gregg]. Say, missus, I kin sing a song. 
Mary. Do let him sing it ! I 'm sure it '11 be good. 
All. Sing it, Bobby! 
Bobby [to tune of "Jolly Old St. Nicholas'']. 

Chickens roosin' in de coop, 

Moon up in de sky, 
Snow a layin' on de groun' 

Wind a-moanin' by; 
Taters crowded in de bin, 

Apples ripe an' red. 
Little chilhms fas' asleep 

In de cozy bed. 

Stockin's hangin' on de wall, 

Cookies in de pan, 
Santy Claus a-drawin' nigh — 

Oh, de nice ol' man! 
Bringin' lots o' pritty gifts 

Fo' de girls an' boys, 
Candy nuff ter make ye sick — 

Oh, de Christmas joys! 

[All clap and some cry, ''That 's fine!" "Good!'' etc. 
If desired, another sang may he sung by all the com- 
pany. If others are to help with the entertainment. 



I 



SUSAN GREGCx'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 23 

they should do so now, either with songs or Christ- 
mas recitations.] 

HiRxVM. Now we 'd oughter play a game. 

Miss Gregg. I think dinner is almost ready. 

Bobby [smacking lips]. Yum-yum-yum! we 're goin' ter 
hev sump 'n lickin ' good f er dinner ! 

Krumm. Led us blay shust von game, ain'dt it, to make 
us merry on der Christmas Tay. 

Mrs. Hinks. We must play Blind Man's Buff. Who 
has a large handkerchief? [Krumm pidls out a large 
hright handana and she hinds his eyes with it. The 
handkerchief must he fixed so he can see. He stands 
in center of stage and tries to catch the others, who 
keep out of his way, some falling down on the floor 
and in other ways making the scene as merry as pos- 
sihle. Then with a quick move Krumm turns and 
throws hoth arms around Miss Gregg's waist.] 

Miss Gregg. Oh, oh, oh! [Screams.] Oh, how terrible, 
terrible! 

Krumm [holding her fast]. Voss ist? Are you hurted? 

Miss Gregg [in great distress]. Oh, let me go! Let me 
go! [He releases her.] Oh, Katie, Katie! [Puts 
hands over face and leans, hack against i\lR. Watkins, 
who puts arm around her.] Oh, my! Oh, my! 

Mr. Watkins. What is it, Susan ? Are you sick ? [She 
looks at him in horror and pulls away from him.] 

Enter Katie hurriedly. 

Katie. What 'n the name o' goodness is this racket 
about? Whut 's the matter, ma'am? 

]\Iiss Gregg [falling against Katie]. Oh, he had his arm 
around me! Two of them did! Oh, oh, and I a mod- 
est, unmarried lady! 

Katie. Lan' suz, ma'am, that ain't hurt ye none! Lots 



24 SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

' men 's had their arms 'roiiii ' me an ' I 'm still here 

ter tell about it. 
IIiRAM. Now I make a motion that some iiv us goes down 

ter the corner store arter them things Santy Glaus 

lef ' fer us. I noticed when I come along 't wuz open. 
jNIr. Watkins. Yes, we must have some presents for our 

Christmas stocking. 
Krumm. I gifs you some monies. You puys vot you 

tinks goot unt I vill up der shtocking hang. [Gives 

Mr. Watkins maney and goes out.] 
Mrs. Hinks. I want to give some. 
Mary. And I. 

[Various ones give money to Hiram and Mr. Watkins, 
tvho e.veunt.] 

Katie. Some o ' you ladies kin help me finish gittin ' din- 
ner on the table, now. 
]Mary. Oh, I 'd love to ! [Katie, Mrs. Hinks and Mary 

ejcennt.] 

[Krumm enters with large bright stocking, at least five 
feet long, ivhich he and ]\Iiss Gregg ^lail firmly to wall, 
while rest of company move about or stand in groups, 
talking in asides. Children open box of candy and sit 
about eating it.] 

Miss Gregg. I tliink it is well fastened up now. 
Krumm. Ya, he von't preak town alreaty yet so soon. 

Enter Katie. 

Katie. Well, ef the men ain 't come back with their arms 
full ' presents ! We 've got 'em all out in the dinin ' 
room an' we 're goin'ter serve 'em with the dinner an' 
not use the stockin', after all. Mr. Watkins says it '11 
be more fun, an' dinner 's ready an' everybody come. 

[All hurry out. Off stage such exclamations as ^'Oh, 



srsAN OREGrrs chrlstmar orphans 25 

hoiv lovely!" "My, ain't this pretty!'' etc., are heard, 
and then clatter of dishes and rattle of knives and 
forks against 'plates.] 

Enter Bobby. 

Bobby. I can't eat no more; T et too much beforehand. 
Say, dis is de bes' time I ever hed in my life ! Gee, I 
wisht I could stay here an ' live wid dat lady ! She 
ain't got no little boy an' she needs me. [Looks at 
stocking on wall and starts.] Say, I jes wonder ef she 
would n' keep me ef I 's ter hide in dat stockin' an' 
tell 'er I wuz a Christmas present ! I 'd like ter be 
somebody 's boy, I would ! I 'm goin ' ter try it. 
[Pushes a chair up to stocking and tries to cUmh into 
latter, hut can't reach top.] I know whut I '11 do. 
'T won 't hurt nothin ' ef I rip a hole in it, at the 
boiioui. [Pretending to pull stitches out, crawls in at 
hole left at hack of stocking.] 

Enter Mr. Watkins. 

3.Ir. Watkins. What a shame that that stocking cannot 
be properly used to give Miss Susan the Christmas 
gift she needs — a husband ! I have wanted for a long 
time to ask her to marry me, but she— I — lose my 
nerve. I 'm not much of a hand at proposing. Now, if 
I hide behind that stocking and stay till she finds me, 
maybe she '11 take me as a Christmas gift. [Goes to 
stocking and discovers Bobby.] Great Scott! what 's 
this? 

Bobby [from stocking]. I 'm a Christmas gif fer dat 
lad}^ I 'm goin' ter stay here, too. I got here fust. 

Mr. Watkins. Well, by all that 's good ! See here, son, 
maybe she '11 take both of us ! She can make a home 
for you and me and I '11 take care of you both. That 
will suit me, all right. If she '11 adopt me I '11 adopt 



26 SUSAN GREGG'S CHRISTMAS ORPHANS 

yon. We '11 see what she says. [Mr. Watkins hides 
behind stocking, as sounds of leave-taking come from 

off stage.] 

Enter Miss Gregg. 

Miss Gregg. Well, it has been a lovely day! Every one 
had a fine time. Bnt now that they are gone I am so 
lonely 1 don't know what to do. [Thoughtfully] I 
wish I had a — had — some — family. Well, I may as 
well take this stocking down. [Goes to it and dis- 
covers Mr. Watkins and Bobby. Latter rolls out on 
floor. ] 

Miss Gregg [starting hack in amazement]. Oh, my — 
mercy me ! What does this mean ? 

Bobby. We 's yer Christmas present, lady! Don't 
3^e want us "? 

Mr. Watkins. Won't 3^ou take us both, Susan? [He 
kneels in front of her and Bobby scrambles up and 
kneels beside him. Red light is turned on for a tableau. 
]\Ir. AVatkins and Bobby put up hands imploringly. 
Miss Gregg hesitates, then smiling at them, extends a 
hand to each.] 

curtain 



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LANGUAGE AND COMPOSITION BY GRADES 

A HANDBOOK FOR TEACHERS — 

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Nixie Bunny in Manners-Land — A Rabbit Story of Good Manners 
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